Be a Friend to have a Friend

I noticed a lot of young people complain one way or the other of their "cliq" as bad friends, most especially the ladies. We have all in one way or the other made that "bad" friend that has shattered our trust and has also hurt us but guess what! all these can actually be avoided and you can have trustworthy friends.

Dupe and Funke 

For example- Dupe and I. 

Our story-  i've known Dupe for three(3)years now and i can tell you for free that it has been an extremely fun and sometimes an "unpleeeaaasureable"(had to stress that). Met her on my first day at my NYSC(PPA)/internship place *don't ask where* lolz

Duuduu is such a nice babe

She has a car, i don't. We stay close, she gives me a ride to and fro *how sweet shey. Anyway, long story short, Dupe is not the nicest person on a good day but she's still my friend.

 The question is, how did we get here or how did i conclude Dupe is my friend?- 

1. I never hid myself. 

I realized most young people are pressurized directly or indirectly to be accepted by our peers. We don't want to be the weirdo or the "unfun" person so we become who we are not, we PRETEND to like what they like and so on. Had to emphasis Pretend cos with pretence, we exhibit who we are not and what we are not.  At the end of the day, this brings disappointments and distrust from those friends and it hurts. *trust me it hurts real bad. Be accepted for who you are, not for what you have; those who like you will be stay and does who don't will obviously leave. (AKA sifting the wheat from the shaft). 

2. Take time to know the other person or people as the case may be.

Desola and I

Have known Desola since my university days at ACU (Ajayi Crowther University, Oyo) *don't mind me, i"m proud of my alma mata*. Anyway, Desola also is not a perfect person (which i don't expect) but it took me a long time to call that babe- Desola my friend. I didn't jump to conclude that because we hangout together and sometime share same interest meant i've found a friend in her. I took time to know her, watch her closely and often time, forgive her when she hurts me (*lolz as if i don't hurt her too).

3. Forgive and don't jump to conclusions.

As we get to know this other individual or persons, we tend to fight and have misunderstandings. Like a yoruba adage that says "oremeji tio ti ja, iro ni won pa fun rawon" -English translation- Two friends that have not had a fight are just fooling each other (hope i got the translation right). So, to make friends and be a friend, make room for misunderstandings and be ready to forgive and learn from it. CAUTION- please take enough time to cool off and think about the cause of the fight and have a re-think again if you still want to be friends with that person.

4. Create time for each other. 

Mind you when i say creating time for each other does not mean you forget your own time. 

Desola and I at one of our outings.

The importance of creating time for each other is to get to know this other person, learn and know their opinions and interests. Get to know the Real person in your friend. It can be difficult sometimes to create time especially when you are not students of same school if you're still students or it could be cos of work and other endeavors. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to go out on an expensive date and likes. Feel free to initiate an outing and make the time and venue convenient for the both(all) parties. (i like shopping with my friends, going to the cinemas or just a meal/gists somewhere).

Ok, Ok, i think i'm telling a lot of stories..... To be continued.

*Hope you find my posts interesting and helpful, please feel free to drop a  comment, opinions, thoughts and share the gospel according to Olufunke's way. Do have a lovely weekend.... kisses and hugs.....